Virtual killed Chit Chat

The Office. I miss the office so much and I talk about going back with such excitement as if it were a holiday destination!! Not only do I want to start wearing 80% of my wardrobe again which has sat dormant in my closet for over a year, not only do I want to put some eye-liner after 1 year of absolute zero make-up and to wear anything but sneakers, but most of all I want to remember what it feels like to have human in-person interactions at work.

A virtual working world is a very different working world and after a year of home working, there are many downsides to the way we connect with our colleagues (or rather lack of). The most unfortunate for me is that Virtual killed Chit Chat.

March, 2021

The Office. I miss the office so much and I talk about going back with such excitement as if it were a holiday destination!! Not only do I want to start wearing 80% of my wardrobe again which has sat dormant in my closet for over a year, not only do I want to put some eye-liner after 1 year of absolute zero make-up and to wear anything but sneakers, but most of all I want to remember what it feels like to have human in-person interactions at work.

A virtual working world is a very different working world and after a year of home working, there are many downsides to the way we connect with our colleagues (or rather lack of). The most unfortunate for me is that Virtual killed Chit Chat.

Chit chat is what helps build solid relationships, chit chat is what connects us, chit chat is the fun part of work. Chit chat is absolutely essential.

It's a quick goodmorning chat over the coffee machine with a colleague that you actually have no business relation with but you see every day at the office with whom you talk about kids or sports or your upcoming vacation plans. It's lifting your head over your laptop and sharing a funny thought. It's joining a casual conversation that's happening next to you. It's saying hello to your colleague who just walked in and commenting on his new hair cut or her new shoes. It's listening to them complain about the traffic. It's catching up over lunch.

Let's go back in time when we were all in the office and had group meetings (remember those!?! Many people in the same room!?!?!). Just before you go to the meeting room, you're in the kitchen making a coffee along with another colleague from the same meeting. You chat about yesterday's Champions League football match and the penalty that Messi missed. Together, you walk towards the meeting room where another colleague is entering the room. She comments on how bad the coffee that she bought on her way to the office is. And while waiting for the others to come, another colleague gently complains how tired he is because his newborn didn't sleep all night.

The atmosphere is light, informal and HUMAN.

Now fast forward to our current virtual working world. Our calendars are packed with back-to-back meetings. You enter a call, you wait a couple of minutes for everyone to join, some people turn on the camera, most do not. The meeting begins, the topics are discussed and the meeting comes to a close. And then your next meeting reminder pops up. There is very little chit chat because there is a sense of urgency to get straight down to business or we simply forgot to chit chat because we've been re-wired to skip this part.

Of course on a 1:1 basis there is definitely more chit chat happening. But we are losing 75% of the vibe of the conversation because we're missing all the body language - the non-verbal communication. Studies show that non-verbal communication is by far more important than tone of voice or what is actually being said. But after 1 year of working from home, we don’t need studies to tell us that. We feel it. On Microsoft Teams, when you present while sharing slides, your video is so small that however active your body language is, it's hardly conveyed, felt or even seen simply because your window video is so small.

And have you realized that in our virtual world, we've lost all direct eye contact due to the simple fact that our camera is located in completely the wrong position in relation to where the video of the other person is on your screen?

So make an effort to dedicate more time to chit chat. Engage. Be present. Do a round table check in with everyone in your meeting. Ask them how they’re doing and if all you get is 'ok' then ask a question to trigger a conversation.

And don't feel guilty that the 'clock is ticking' and that you're wasting valuable business time. You're not because #ChitChatmatters