Setting yourself goals

On 8th February 2018 at 06:30 I reached the peak of Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa at 5,895m. Before that, I had never even climbed a hill, let alone a mountain. How the hell did I end up there you might ask? Well, this endeavour was the result of a new mentality I adopted of setting myself goals. I didn't exactly start off setting myself such extreme goals! Oh no! They started small, feasible and easily achievable, and then they grew.

February 8, 2021

On this day, 3 years ago at 06:30 I reached the peak of Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa at 5,895m. Before that, I had never even climbed a hill, let alone a mountain. How the hell did I end up there you might ask? Well, this endeavour was the result of a new mentality I adopted of setting myself goals. I didn't exactly start off setting myself such extreme goals! Oh no! They started small, feasible and easily achievable, and then they grew.

I had zero goals until I hit 40! And by 40, I mean 40 years old. (Interesting how in the English language we say 40 years OLD and not 40 years YOUNG). The 'old' part of 40 was not going down very well with me.

That big number was slyly looming over my head, forcing me to ask myself the question 'What have you done/accomplished in your life?".

Despite the internalized state of freaking out, this simple number that silently haunted me in fact turned out to be the trigger that pushed me to think differently. This is not one of those 'one day I woke up' story, but rather a slow and rather subconscious build up that led to the final decision - make 40 an important milestone - more than just an age milestone but a self-achievement milestone. Something that would make me feel proud when called upon to answer the question "So what have you achieved in your life?".

I decided to set myself some goals. Rather than just setting 1, I actually set myself 4, all of which had a deadline attached to it and that was

'before I turn 40'. Being a sporty person, 2 of these goals were sport-related. One was work related and the last one, well that turned out to be a bit crazier than I planned.

The work goal was easy. I was 14 years in the same company and it was clear to me that the time had come for me to move on. It's one thing however knowing that it's time to move and another actually making it happen. Finding a new job was one of the 'before I turn 40' goals. And indeed that goal was accomplished. Nothing more interesting here!

The next 2 goals were sport related. Having had my 2 kids at 32 and 34, I had quit all sport/fitness activities for about 6 years, I was simply too tired, trying to juggle too many things and trying to be near perfect in all areas. But kids do grow older and there finally comes a time when they don’t need you ALL THE BLOODY TIME. Re-enter sports. As I hate the gym (boring!), I decided to learn a new sport. That meant find something that would easily fit into my daily schedule. Kick boxing it was. I found a class at 21:30 at night - perfect. I could put the kids to bed myself and then attend training…Never too late to start a sport, even at 38, even kick boxing.

I loved it! It was everything I was looking for. Dynamic, powerful, competitive - my stress outlet. But how do you go about setting yourself a goal in such a sport? Punch harder, kick higher? No. It was to participate in kick boxing match (yes! an official 'fight') 'before I turn 40'. Mission accomplished. People ask me 'Did you win?' Of course I didn't and I so don't care. The goal I set myself was to participate, live the experience not to win. Box ticked (I haven't played in a match since, but I still continue to train.)

Then came running - the most boring, monotonous un-dynamic way of exercising (or so I thought back then…I now love it). Being a working mother of 2, consistently making kickboxing practice 3 times a week was not always feasible. But running…you can squeeze in any time you please. Setting running targets is easy. They are either distance or speed related or a combination of both. I had at this stage managed a good 5K run, so the obvious next step was the 10K run 'before I turn 40'. Easy. Done!

And now for the crazy part! In turning 40, you HAVE to go a little bit crazy no!? Make yourself feel 40 years YOUNG! Although I didn't exactly set out to create a crazy target as such, it sort of 'appeared' in front of me. As a result of a casual conversation with a work colleague, I ended up tandem jumping of a plane a year later. Sky diving! OMG what an experience. This was the 1 target I didn't fulfil 'before I turn 40'….but that's ok…who's counting anyway

So having for the first time ever set myself not 1 but 4 targets, I kind of liked the idea and decided to permanently adopt this mentality. It was exciting, exhilarating and extremely fulfilling to achieve my self-set goals…a sense of accomplishment and pride.

Be mindful…some years, your targets might be more grandiose and aggressive while other years they may be less impressive and some years, you may not have any targets at all…and that's ok too.

Through this whole new process of setting myself targets I 'forced' myself into new activities and found out that I actually quite liked them. I also discovered new things about myself. I discovered and explored my limits. I pushed myself harder. Me playing in a kickboxing match at the age of 40? Me running? I hated running. Me jumping off a plane? I'm afraid of heights! You never know the places goal setting will take you. It's an indirect means of exploration!

Your targets are not meant to impress anyone but yourself. Of course you can boast about them (I certainly do) but they are yours for your personal accomplishment. Targets can be anything! Literally. From sports, to reading more books, attending that cooking or painting class that you have so long been thinking about, to sleeping more. WHATEVER! There is no right or wrong. When you set your goal(s), make sure you tell someone about it.

Share your goals. Vocalizing your goals and making them known to others acts as an informal commitment to yourself. It will give you that extra push you may need to ensure that you do in fact pursue and finally achieve your goal

(…and guess what!? No one's going to tell you off if you don't)! Call it out and set a timeline…in the next 6 months, by the end of year, 'before I turn 40'.

The feeling of accomplishment for even the smallest of goals is priceless. It's a personal win, a thing to be proud of.

And so, from my accidental attendance at a Microsoft event, where I listened to the keynote speaker - a hiker - speaking the words 'Every hiker has 7 peaks to conquer. The only peak that does not require climbing skills is Kilimanjaro", I walked out of that session and told my colleague John who was next to me, "I will climb Kilimanjaro" and in the next 2 years…I did.